Kresge Auditorium, Stanford University - Friday November 10, 7 p.m.

. . . .

Frontiers of Flight Museum, Dallas, Texas - Thursday November 2, 7 p.m.

Like all good things, this blog is also coming to an end. It was wonderful to be able to share this part of my life with all of you. I appreciate all your supportive comments.

Those who did not see the point in my trip are also entitled to their opinions and I respect that, the same way I hope they respect mine.

I’m still reading your comments and will try to answer as many questions as possible. Some of you have asked me to publish a book and I’m investigating this option. If and when I do so, I will announce it on my website as well as X Prize website.

I wish the best for all of you and hope one day your dreams will come true…

It has been a wonderful ride J

Thank you,
Anousheh

Today the ending of one of the best chapters of my life was being written. I flew to Moscow on the 16th of October and arrived on the 17th. It was a difficult trip for me because I had to leave my grandmother who wasn’t feeling well to go on this trip. I was nervous the entire flight and Hamid who was accompanying me kept talking to me and trying to calm me down. The reason for my trip was to attend the official welcome back ceremony. Because of my request, the Russian Space Agency had broken tradition to accommodate my schedule and was holding this event two days earlier, so I could not miss it.

I had participated as an observer in the ceremony held for Expedition 12 crew members and Marcos Pontes, the Brazilian astronaut. I remember I was very excited because the morning of the ceremony, I had been able to catch Marcos Pontes, Bill McArthur, and Valery Tokorev outside of the dormitory and take a picture with them.

I knew every step of the ceremony. First the astronauts and cosmonauts being honored would be taken to the huge Gagarin monument in the middle of Star City, where a military band plays a march as they place flowers at the foot of the statue.

Then they would walk down the big corridor that leads to the House of Cosmonauts, which is the big community center in Star City that houses the Gagarin museum. People, photographers and journalists gather at the statue and follow them to the main attraction — the welcome back speech at the Auditorium.

At the ceremony, the crew is presented with awards and gifts from representatives and the head of the Space Agency, Air Force, Search and Rescue Team, the Prime contractor and General Design company, etc… Each person comes up to the stage and says a few words about the success of the mission and lessons learned, and then presents their gifts. At the end, each of the three crew members are given an opportunity to speak.

I had written my speech in English and had asked a Russian professor in Dallas to translate it for me. I wanted to deliver my speech in Russian because I knew how much the people in Star City would appreciate it. I knew my pronunciation would be less than desirable and it would make it hard for people to understand me but I knew they just wanted to see me make an effort.

I was hoping that I would get a few days to practice the speech, but with everything that was happening around me, I only got the speech done the day before my flight and practiced it a few times on the plane ride to Moscow. During my practice runs on the plane, I struggled with pronouncing many of the words… I was starting to think I should just stick with English and print the Russian version and distribute it to the audience…

The plane ride was long and I could not sleep at all. As we were approaching Moscow, my anxiety was increasing by the minute. We finally landed and after a long wait through customs, we were on our way to Star City. I had arranged a party that evening for all my instructors, trainers, and everyone who had helped me in one way or another during my training time there. I also had a couple of press interviews right before the party, and my schedule was packed for the next two days. We drove through the usual traffic and finally arrived in Star City around 3:00 pm.

It felt strange to be back there. Driving down the road where I used to walk everyday to class reminded me of the happy days I had there. It was hard for me to believe that I had already gone to space and now I was back in Star City as a Cosmonaut. It all seemed like yesterday but at the same time it felt like a distant memory.

For a moment I wished that it was February 2006 and that I was just starting my life in Star City. I had enjoyed every single moment of my journey and I remembered my first day there. I flew there with my husband Hamid, my brother in law Amir and Peter Diamandis, whom you know as the chairman of X Prize Foundation. It was early January, and before I had decided to train there. We were all excited but Peter and I were extra excited. We looked like kids in a candy store and were just trying to take it all in. I remembered Peter telling me, “Anousheh, if you decide to train, enjoy every second of it, don’t just think about the flight, enjoy the entire experience…”

And I had done just that. I appreciated the beautiful but cold winter there… I listened to music while watching the tall snow-covered evergreens lining the street of star City… I enjoyed learning about the International Space Station (ISS) and the Soyuz capsule… I enjoyed making new friends and learning a new language… I enjoyed breathing the same air as the astronauts and cosmonauts were breathing and sitting next to them in the cafeteria and listening to their stories…

I enjoyed living a simple life. Life seemed to be less complicated and all the small things that you usually worry about at home were not important anymore. At home I would drive to three different places to make sure I would get the right products that I liked for breakfast or for my hair. Here in Star City, I could not buy any of them and I learned that I can manage without a lot of things… even hot water. Having hot water was hit or miss, so every morning that I would wake up and have clean hot water in the shower, it was a good day for me.

I started paying attention and enjoying my surroundings more… In Dallas, I would drive a car everywhere but here I had a choice between walking or riding a bike. I walked most of the time and enjoyed watching the change of seasons. I watched as the snow started to slowly melt and the trees started to grow new leaves. I watched as the ice on the lake in front of my dormitory started to melt and people came for fishing. I watched as the tulips started growing in the gardens and butterflies started flying… I watched as life was starting again and I noticed how much I enjoyed being so close to nature.

In Dallas spring would come and ago and I would hardly notice any of its beauty. In cities, we are surrounded by glass, plastic, and steel and we start living an artificial life without any appreciation for the beauty that surrounds us. We become isolated and detached from our environment… Being so close to nature and being able to see it, smell it and touch it gave me a great sense of joy.

The spring was followed by a hot but short summer. I learned to balance the opening of windows to get some cool air, with the attack of the mosquitoes. Most of the buildings in Star City are very old and do not have air conditioning. In Dallas, I never even thought about AC. It is always there. But here, if I walked into a classroom that happened to have a small AC hanging by the window, I would consider that day a lucky day J

Even more interesting to me was the fact that none of these things bothered me. If I was back in Dallas and had to be in a non air-conditioned room, I would probably complain for days but here it seemed okay… I was there for a much more important mission and everything else seemed unimportant to me. Life was simple!

As the summer was coming to an end, I was ready to go home and see my family. I knew that the training was coming to an end and I was making a list and planning for things that I wanted to accomplish on my flight in 2008. Since I had my trip to look forward to, I was not sad and I just wanted to go home and start planning my trip. And then… all of a sudden… my life changed… and before I knew it, I was flying to ISS.

Now that I was back in Star City, I felt lost… I didn’t know where I belonged… Life was going on as usual… the instructors were preparing and presenting their material to the new trainees, and astronauts and cosmonauts were going from one classroom to the next… I felt disconnected from it all and I missed it really badly… It was like graduating from college and coming back for a visit. Everything looked familiar but at the same time different… You see students walking by and life on campus going on as usual but you are no longer part of it and you wish hard that you were. It is almost a painful feeling.

All these memories flashed back in my head as I was approaching the dormitory. We were staying there for the nighAs we walked in with our suitcases, Jeff Williams walked in and told me he was going up to NASA office for a video link with the Expedition 14 crew onboard ISS and invited me to join them… I was so happy… I dropped my suitcase there and ran to the 2nd floor. Pavel was already there and the video link was up. Mike L.A. and Thomas Reiter were already there and Misha Tyurin joined them later.

It felt sooooo good talking to them. I missed being there so much and just seeing them, floating in front of the camera and talking about life onboard the station, made me feel part of the crew again… Mike asked me about my interview with Oprah. He had heard about it but had not seen it. Then he asked me if my trip seemed real or just like a dream. I told him it felt like a dream and he seemed to understand the feeling. I guess even for professional astronauts, their time in space is dreamlike and surreal… I told them that I really missed them and Mike said, jokingly, “Well, come back with Peggy!” I said “I wish I could! but Hamid told me I have to work hard to make money for my next trip” — J Before we knew it, the time was up and the video link ended. It felt so good to talk to them and it energized me… I went downstairs to my room with a big smile to prepare for my interview.

After the interview, I went to the cafeteria where everyone was gathering for the party I had arranged. I was all smiles again… Seeing everyone made me feel at home. They were all glad to see me again as well. I had prepared them a DVD with pictures from my time in Star City, all the way to launch and landing, and some more souvenirs…

They also brought me gifts and souvenirs to take home. One was a beautiful traditional scarf, from the lady doctors and nurses, that I wore the next day to the ceremony. My Russian instructor gave me a magazine that had my picture on the cover with the title “the New Star.” Everyone was so sweet and appreciative. I told them all that this is not goodbye and that I would be back in March for Expedition 14’s landing and would see them again. I returned to my room around 9 pm and had to stay up for another interview at 11:45 pm. I was exhausted… it had almost been 32 hours without sleep.

The next morning I had another interview and the official flight debrief. This is the meeting when they review all the comments and suggestions that they had gathered post-flight, during the quarantine. Around 1:30 pm we all gathered in the lobby of the dormitory where I was staying and prepared to go to the ceremony. I had very little time to practice my speech but I decided to give it a try and to do my speech in Russian.

Just like the previous crews, we went to the Gagarin monument first. There were so many people there and again I kept remembering myself in the audience trying to sneak a few pictures as Expedition 12 crew was placing flowers at the foot of the Gagarin statue. As we started marching toward the auditorium, people cheered for us and waved. It was a beautiful day, a little chilly but not too bad…

We went through the back door and sat at a table on the stage. The auditorium was 80 percent full, which was more than the last time I was there. Behind us was my favorite picture of Yuri Gagarin, the one with him and the Dove in his hand. I remembered seating in the audience, six month before that, and thinking to myself, one day I would be on that stage and would be talking about my experience and thanking everyone for their support. Today was that day and it all seemed to happen so fast…

Just like the ceremony I attended before, one by one the heads of different agencies came to the stage and congratulated us. What surprised me was all the kind words that they specially said about me. They called me part of the crew and a very courageous individual. They even presented me with a several medals. I was so touched… one of them even said that I had inspired women in Russia and that they now have a woman candidate in the program.

It made me very happy not only to hear that women are more interested in entering the cosmonaut corps, but also to realize that I had changed the views of the people in charge about women being part the program and it felt really good…

By the time all the speakers finished, we each had a mountain of flowers and many boxes of medals, pictures, and other souvenirs in front of us. After Pavel and Jeff delivered their speech, it was my turn. I was the last one to speak… I was nervous and my voice was trembling a little. I was very emotional too and that made it even more difficult for me to read the speech. I delivered the speech as best as I could and I could tell I was reaching the audience, since they would interrupt me with their applause.

When I got to the last paragraph, I choked up and barely finished my speech, everyone applauded and I knew they were touched by what I had to say and by the fact that I tried to say it in Russian. Everyone congratulated me later on the speech. I have the original speech in a separate entry if you are interested to read it… What was also interesting was the fact that a few other astronauts came to me and told me they shared my sentiments. They too felt that Star City was a very special place and were very sad when they were leaving…

As I had said in my speech… today I’m leaving and in my heart I have a special place for three countries… Iran the country where I was born and raised, America the country that gave me the opportunity to educate myself and to succeed, and Russia the country that made my dream come true…

Goodbye Star City, the city of dreamers…

I will be signing off and with this entry closing my Space Flight Chapter of this blog…

I will continue reading your comments and answering your questions in the near future…

With my best wishes for all of you who have been reading and commenting on this blog…

Dream! Dream Big! Dream the impossible! And make it come true…

I look forward to reading your inspiring stories in the future…

Anousheh

… my speech in Star City + photos —>

I came to this country with a big dream in my heart… the dream to fly to space. I entered Star City on a snowy February day and did not know what to expect. I was afraid that people here will not be ready for a civilian woman to enter the training program… I was afraid that I would be mistreated and ignored… what happened however, was totally the opposite. Even though I was a back-up, everyone treated me as a member of the crew. They always treated me with respect and dignity and never, for a moment, made me feel uncomfortable or unwelcome…

Even though I don’t speak Russian, I quickly felt at home here, with the culture being so close to the culture of my country of birth, Iran, the hospitality, the friendliness, the love for sharing everything with friends… It also helped to hear all these familiar words that I considered Iranian, used in Russian language, things like Samavar, sheshbesh, kishmesh, chamadan, eshkaf, shashlik, etc…

Here, I have made great friends… people whom I will remember for the rest of my life… Everyone from Roscosmos, GCTC, TsUP, Energia, the Search and Rescue Team, all my instructors, trainers, and interpreters, all the doctors. I don’t know how to thank you. Without you I would have not been able to fulfill my dream.

Thank you to Space Adventures for making it possible for me to be here. Everyone at the NASA office and ESA office… thank you for all your help and support… All the Astronauts and Cosmonauts who shared their experience with me and helped me get through the training and prepare me for my trip… thank you… I have never seen so many good people gathered in one location…

I have a big debt of gratitude to Mike LA and Mikhail Tyurin for being such good friends and for taking me beyond my dreams and also to Pavel Vinogradov and Jeffrey Williams for returning me safe and sound to my family…

When I came here, I called two countries my home… Iran, the country I was born in and grew up in, and United States, the country that gave me the opportunity to educate myself and to succeed. However, I’m leaving here tomorrow with three countries in my heart, the third country being Russia for being the country that made my dream come true…

Anousheh is on Oprah today. As learned in comments, there’s more video.

[edit: Help arrives from World in comments --

For those of you who weren’t able to see Mrs. Ansari on Oprah, here is the video link:

Enjoy!
Comment by Tourang — October 12, 2006 @ 2:50 pm]

Hi everyone…

I’m back safe and sound in the US and taking care of some personal family medical issues. I have been reading your comments and I wanted to thank you for all your words of support and encouragement. I am not upset about negative comments and I can take criticism. My lack of writing in the past few days has nothing to do with the negative comments but more to do with personal family commitments. As you may have gathered from my writings, my family is everything to me and I need to make sure they are happy. I would not be here without their help and support. Now it’s my turn to take care of a few things

I am happy to see that we can have constructive disagreement and discussion on the site… If everyone thought the same way, this would be a very boring world to live in. I have a few more stories to share with everyone, about my time in Quarantine and some of my pre-flight training activities.

After that, we shall see what happens

Warm wishes to all…
Anousheh

Many in Russia refer to the time when Cosmonauts are pulled out of the capsule as a Second Birth… Being there, now I knew why! In my last part of the story, I left you hanging in the Soyuz. So, let’s start from there…

The hatch opened and a breath of fresh air took over the smell of burnt wire. I felt like I was hanging from the ceiling and had a hard time raising my head high enough to see who was at the hatch. The hatch door was also blocking the view…

Finally I was able to stretch enough to see out. I recognized the face of one of the rescue team members who was trying to prepare us for the exit. He was the same person who assisted me in my Black Sea survival training. I could hear words of joy and congratulation in Russian… Pavel was responding to them and laughing… there were people with video cameras and mobile phones snapping pictures. I felt like something that was trapped and the captor was taking picture of his catch before releasing it.

First we were handed some hard covers that we were supposed to put over the panels in front of us. Then they started getting Pavel released from his straps. We had tightened our straps so much that it was impossible to properly open them in the position we were in now.

The Search and Rescue (SAR) team member took out a knife and started cutting out Pavel’s knee straps first and reached in to unbuckle his belt. Then two of them reached in and pulled him out.

Being in space for six months does a trick on your body. Your muscles get so lazy that they have a big shock dealing with your weight back on Earth… I also experienced the same effects but mine, I suppose, were milder than what Jeff and Pavel were feeling. Your body is so weak upon return to gravity that it is almost impossible for you to crawl out by yourself…

Next it was my turn… After a few moments of hanging there and just taking a few breaths of fresh air, the same guy returned and started cutting out my straps. This was a little more challenging for him since I was in the right seat and because of the way the capsule landed, I was up higher than the rest of the crew. He finally stretched his torso so much that he could reach over the hatch and cut my knee straps and unbuckle me.

Then he tried to pull me out and I got stuck on the communication hand stick in front… It was hot in the capsule and we were all sweating. I felt heavy and moving was a big challenge. Finally I was able to unhook myself and he pulled me out.

They wrapped me in a blanket and two people carried me to a beach chair… someone came over and handed me a beautiful bouquet of Roses and told me that it was from the Search and Rescue team. There were cameras everywhere and they were continuously snapping pictures.

Before descent, Jeff reminded me to make sure I moved slowly upon landing and to keep my head steady… This helps with the vestibular system’s readjustment to gravity. I followed his instruction and made sure that I did not make any sudden movements. The head of the Training Center handed me an apple that looked appetizing but as soon as I started to take a bite someone from the medical team started shaking his head telling me not to eat it… I guess he was worried that it would make me feel sick. I waited a while but the apple looked too good to give up so I started taking small bites.

Jeff was the last one to be pulled out of the capsule. We all sat there in our beach chairs for a while, thinking about the realities of being back on Earth.

The sun was slowly rising and I enjoyed feeling the warmth of its rays on my face. The morning air was fresh and crisp… I took a deep breath in and it filled my lungs with the energy… I closed my eyes for a second and tried to remember what it was like on the station… I could feel myself floating next to my bedroom window on the station and seeing the Earth slowly going by… I had a big smile on my face and wanted to just stay in that moment forever.

Someone called out my name “Anousheh, Anousheh…” I opened my eyes. It was one of the reporters… How does it feel to be back? I said “Great! I missed my family and I’m excited to see them.”

In reality I was happy to be back and to see my family but I had left my heart on the station. I kept trying to close my eyes again and pretended that I was back up there, where it was safe… where it was free… But I kept getting interrupted by reporters and photographers… I didn’t want to forget that peaceful image and I was afraid that if I don’t try to capture it in my memory now, that it would be gone forever… But I kept getting interrupted…

I looked over to Jeff and Pavel… They were happy and smiling. They looked really pale. The gravity was taking its toll on them. All the blood was draining down into their feet, leaving their faces white as ghosts. This is just one of the things Astronauts and Cosmonauts have to get used to upon their return.

The heart goes on vacation in Zero-G. The blood flows into your head and satisfies your brain that your body is well fed so your heart doesn’t work as hard. Back here on Earth the gravity keeps pulling the blood down to your feet and the heart has to work hard to pump it up to your head.

That is one of the reasons why, when they return to Earth, they feel lightheaded. Pavel was smiling and answering the reporters and Jeff was on the Sat phone talking to his wife back in Star City. The sun was up now and the helicopters carrying the medical team and the reporters kept on arriving… I was looking around to see my flight surgeon. She was supposed to be there. I was told Hamid would be waiting for me in Astana, where the helicopters would take us to catch a flight back to Star City.

The heat from being in the capsule was subsiding and it was starting to feel chilly. I wrapped myself tighter in the blanket and continued searching the crowd with my eyes, keeping my head really still. All of sudden I heard a familiar voice from behind. “Salam… man omoudam!” It was Hamid saying he was there… right behind me… I was so happy to hear his voice… I called out to him “Hamid… Hamid…” I wanted to say “Hamid Hamid come and take me away… away to someplace safe… away from it all.”

Even though I was not supposed to move my head, I looked up and saw him bending over my head… My heart filled with joy and I started crying as I was trying to free my hand from the inside of the blanket and reach up and touch his face…

His face was wet with tears as well and he kissed my face and said “Bargashti! you returned!” I said “I did… I missed you.” I didn’t want to let him go. I felt safe again with him covering my face and feeling his warm cheeks next to mine. I wanted to disappear with him and tell him what a wonderful experience I had and explain every second of it in detail…

But my life here on Earth was not mine anymore and I couldn’t just do what I wanted to… He moved over and sat next to me… I held on to his hand and didn’t want to let go…

They started to move us to the medical tent to take off our space suits and to prepare us for the helicopter ride to Astana. Two guys lifted my chair and started walking toward the tent. I felt like an elephant and felt bad for the poor guys who had to carry me… I kept saying “I’m so heavy!”

They took me to the tent and put my chair down next to a bed. I started getting up to move over to the bed but I got my first surprise! I was pushing down against the chair to get up but I was not going anywhere… I felt like I was strapped down. I sat back down in my chair. It was a strange feeling… Maybe that’s how it feels to be paralyzed. Your head tells you you can do it but your body refuses… Everyone kept asking me “How do you feel… Are you OK?” and I kept responding “I’m so heavy!”

Couple of guys lifted me and laid me on the bed and the doctors and nurses went to work. They had set up a private area for me and had two lady nurses taking care of me. They took off my suit and helped me change into a pair of clean long johns and my flight suit. It was a huge challenge to move. My body felt like lead… It was frustrating… I had to be helped like a baby to dress. They checked my blood pressure and did a quick EKG. Everything looked good. My body felt tired… I noticed some bruises on my legs when they where helping me change. I didn’t have any pain but I felt like I was sinking into the Earth… Hamid called my Mom and sister on the phone and I was able to talk to them. Finally we were cleaned up and ready to fly to Star City…

They asked me to sit up and as soon as I did I felt like I was going to fall down… I had a hard time keeping myself balanced. I laid back down and waited a little longer. Then I sat up again and asked to just sit for a while to get used to this strange feeling of being in gravity… After a few minutes, I tried to stand up with help from my flight surgeon and Hamid. It was hard getting up — I felt REALLY REALLY HEAVY! I stood up in place for a few minutes to get my bearings…

Then, as they were holding my hands, I tried to take my first step… I tried to lift my foot but nothing happened… It was like it was glued to the floor… I tried again and this time with more force, my foot started lifting in slow motion and moved forward just a little bit. I tried moving my other foot and same thing… I felt like I was wearing one of those old brass diving suits, you know the kind they used in the Jules Verne movies… It felt totally strange!

Now I knew why they call it a Second Birth… First you are pulled out of a capsule just like you are pulled out of your mother’s womb, you are then cleaned and need to be taught how to walk again… I don’t remember my birth, but it must have felt just as strange…

Slowly and with a lot of difficulty I walked to a car that took me to the helicopter. They helped me get onboard and laid me back down on the seat. Before they closed the door, Hamid said “here is the capsule!” I had not seen the capsule after landing… I lifted my head slowly and stretched my neck and watched the burnt black capsule in the distance…

It was hard to believe that we had returned to Earth in that capsule… It was so small… but it had protected us from burning in the atmosphere and from the impact of hitting the ground… It was my shield and I felt sad seeing it out there at the end of its life… It had performed well, carried Marcos Pontes, Pavel Vinogradov, and Jeffrey Williams safely to the station and had carried us back, with me instead of Marcos, to Earth.

It was the end… the end for this capsule and the end for my amazing and wonderful journey to my dream land. This was THE END of this chapter of my life…

This is for anyone who might be critical of Anousheh’s flight — even though it’s a small percentage of the discussion here.

First of all, I need to say that Anousheh and her family are among the most thoughtful and generous people I have ever met.

When someone spends their money to purchase artwork or fancy automobiles, I don’t hear the outcry of “how could you spend your money in that fashion.” The fact is that Anousheh’s support of private spaceflight is not a whim, but the fulfillment of a dream that will yield very positive long-term implications for humanity.

Stop to think about the wealthy adventurers of the 18th Century who spent their money to venture across the Atlantic, or the wealthy clients who purchased the first airplanes or airline tickets. Today most of us living in the US don’t stop to thank those early trans-Atlantic adventurers for risking their lives and their wealth to open the Americas.

Do you thank the first “aeronauts” every time you purchase a low-cost Southwest or EasyJet airline ticket? Yet you benefit from their investment. How about everyone looking at this blog on your computer… The first computers cost millions.

The bottom line is all of the “Breakthroughs” we have today were at one point expensive, dangerous and difficult. We take this for granted now, but each of these industries began with pioneers.

Thank you Anousheh for making the investment, for taking the risk and for being a pioneer. Hundreds of years from now when Earth is benefiting from the resources of space, when millions of humans are living beyond low-Earth orbit, you will be remembered for taking some first steps and showing us the way.

Tomorrow, Oct 4th, 2006, on the second anniversary of the Ansari X PRIZE win, we will announce our next $10 million X PRIZE for Genomics. This competition will be for rapid genome sequencing, a technology that will literally revolutionize medicine and increase the quality of life for millions of people. The X PRIZE Foundation was able to create this prize in part because of the Ansari Family’s generosity. Had they not funded our first prize, we’d never be doing a follow-on!

Peter H. Diamandis (Chairman & CEO, X PRIZE Foundation, Washington, DC)

… until I got this off my chest…

I have not been writing the blog about the last part of my journey, because I got distracted by reading all the comments posted… I was only receiving a few encouraging ones through email in orbit but was not able to see them all.

When I started reading them, I would go from being happy, being proud, and crying to being sad, being somewhat disappointed and sometimes hurt… It has been an emotional rollercoaster for me and it has been draining…

Those who know me tell me I wear my emotions on my face. I don’t know how to pretend and, as some of you could tell from my writing, I speak from the heart…

When I decided to share my experience, to be honest with you, I never expected the type of attention that it has received. I’m not a professional writer and I have a limited vocabulary, but I figured I’ll do my best…

I always thought I would describe my daily activities and experiences as best I could and hoped that people would understand and could feel my writings. When I started writing, a lot of emotions got mixed with factual data and came out in the form of the entries that you read…

I was NOT and am NOT after fame… Before doing this I have been on the cover of magazines, and I have been publicized in US and Iran, to some degree. I have never changed with wealth or fame and have always tried to stay true to myself. I don’t enjoy extra attention and feel awkward when I receive compliments… for whatever reason, which is still unknown to me!

This blog has become somewhat popular and has become a source of joy and encouragement for many… My intention was to use my story as an inspiration, but I always thought it would be through the newspapers, speaking engagements in schools and universities, and perhaps a book that I would ask someone to write. I just didn’t know what to expect from the blog…

Well the blog is very successful and with success comes judgment and scrutiny. I think this is all good. I believe people are entitled to their opinion and I do listen and try to see their point of view. I do have one downfall though… I cannot stand having anyone angry at me. It just bothers me inside… I know I cannot make everyone happy… but this has never stopped me from trying.

I have written answers to the criticisms and erased them knowing that I would not change their mind… and may only create more bitterness. I got encouraged by reading some of your responses to the negative comments and told myself “see she/he gets it,” “my point exactly,” etc. etc. etc.

I have tried to explain my philosophy in “Price of a Dream.” Some may agree with that philosophy and some may not. At the end of the day we are all entitled to believe in whatever we want… and as someone who preaches Understanding, I certainly will practice it.

All this said it bring me to the reason I’m writing this entry… I will not engage in a one-to-one dialogue to try to convince you to see it my way. I have always believed that what counts at the end of the day is results. I’m not doing this to gain popularity and approval. I’m doing it because I believe there is a great positive movement that is resulting from it. Only the future will tell if I was right…

I will continue my blog for now until I get too drained by the negativity to write…
Thank you to those who have been encouraging me, and to those whom I disappointed, I hope your action will make up for your disappointment in me…

Except for the T-word in the headline, this is a great story from a press conference in Star City, Russia today — accompanied by a slide show that is also great.

Yahoo! News: Space tourist longs to head back to stars

Thanks — and a slightly belated Happy Birthday to del.icio.us — for the great and free invention used on the sidebar here (and on del.icio.us) to display a sample of news stories about Anousheh’s Excellent Adventure.

And a very special thanks to Google for the excellent and free News Alerts service from More Google Products.

Google Language Tools are also handy!